TACTICAL COMMENTARY: When You Say “Velcro is Too Loud” You Sound Like an Idiot

You Are Not a Navy SEAL Sneaking up on Someone, so When You Say “Velcro is Too Loud” You Sound Like an Idiot


So I was showing this guy here in Iraq one of the Zulu M-4 Mag Pouches I have and the first thing he said was “the Velcro is too loud, people will hear you use it” or something to that effect.

I was like “dude, you are a medic on a Helicopter, seriously?” - but he would not consider buying that pouch because in his mind it would somehow tip-off his location to the Ninjas or whatever he would be sneaking up on [presumably after already blasting off 30 rounds and jumping off a helicopter].

Normally this would not have stuck in my mind but like 3 days before another guy said he didn’t like one of my knives because it had a stainless blade that “would be too visible in the dark”. He is a blond guy who runs down the roads in Iraq in a 30 truck convoy in huge pick-up trucks with his PMC’s name written down the side. I was like “sure dude, they will never see you coming if you got a blacked-out blade”

This is a common affliction affecting many people in the tactical community going back as long as I can remember. It is sort of the same thing as guys who carry 148 rounds of ammo and 3 pistols everyday “just in case they have to get it on in on some sort of epic gun-battle at Starbucks where they burn through 5 mags.

When I hear people discounting a solid product because of a reason like noise or someone seeing their knife it just makes me shake my head. Especially when the kit and person will never be in a situation where any of their concerns would be valid.

So my fellow tactical enthusiasts don’t be a Tacticalous Douchebagnus and I promise after you light off 30 rounds from your M-4 it won’t matter if your mag pouch makes a little noise when you open it.


~James G Founder - Editor in Chief

James G is a Veteran Civilian Contractor who has worked in the Middle East and Southeast Asia for way too long; he has traveled to over 50 countries chasing fortune and glory. He spends his off time in Indonesia and Virginia getting drunk, shooting guns, writing poorly written articles and Sneaking up on people. James G. on FACEBOOK