URBAN SURVIVAL: Lethal Force While Defending Yourself and Your Family

How I "C" my "A"

soup
soup

This is your family 20 months after you use deadly force to defend them

I am not a lawyer nor do I play one on the internet, read the following:

Nothing in this article constitutes, or is meant to constitute, advice of any kind. If you require advice in relation to any legal matter you should consult an appropriately qualified lawyer.

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So you are sitting in your basement playing Gears of War on Xbox live, your wife and kids are upstairs sleeping, it’s about 3:30 AM (your wife is one of the cool types who doesn’t complain about her husband’s gaming habit). Right in the middle of playing wave 20 on horde you hear glass breaking and your back door opening.

You go right into warrior mode; you grab your kit (body armor, rig, ect.) and your AR-15 and slowly start waking upstairs. You open the basement door, you click your surefire on and you find yourself staring at 2 guys wearing ski-masks and carrying pistols.

They take a step towards you and you zap em’, 2 in one guy and 6 in the other – see you in hell fuckers – your family is safe now, you did you job as protector of your family.

You pick up the phone, dial 911 and tell the operator you just “fucking blasted 2 mother-fuckers that were in your house”. The police show up and you tell them everything that happened while standing in your front yard calmly eating a sandwich in full kit while the local News 7 films the body’s being carted out.

Fast forward 20 months…

You are eight months into a 6 year prison sentence getting man raped every night by your cell-mate, your wife and kids are living in a spare bedroom in your elderly moms house, you are bankrupt from the legal bills and because the “victims” families have sued you for everything and won, your daughter has strep throat and your wife can’t afford to take her to the doctor so she suffers in pain.

Ok – the above is a bit melodramatic, but guess what guys: it happens

Here are some examples of what I would personally do to prepare myself for the above situation:

Saul_Goodman
Saul_Goodman

I Have the biggest scumbag criminal defense lawyer, who I am on a first name basis with on speed dial

Most tactical enthusiasts I know can pick up the phone and call 30 different people if they have a firearm, nylon gear, and knife or H2H question.

Oddly they don’t have the name of a single criminal defense lawyer in their “tactical rolodex” despite spending tens of thousands (hundreds of thousands?) of dollars on gear and training specifically geared towards killing someone.

When it comes to Criminal Defense Lawyers you want a killer, a fucking legal ninja with a copy of Anderson’s Business Law in one hand, a fake tittyed trophy wife in the other hand and a wall full of Certificates of Appreciation from people like Idi Amin and the Burmese Government.

Why?

Because you don’t want someone who plays by the rules or is a “nice guy” when you and your family’s future is on the line. You want the most ruthless bastard that will do everything possible to get you off no matter who else gets hurt.

Put it this way: would you bring a chrome plated .32 Davis automatic with ball ammo or a 40. cal Glock loaded with black talons to a gunfight?

Ruthless SOB Lawyer = Glock

I found my criminal defense lawyer by asking my cop investigator buddies who is the lawyer they hated the most because he keeps getting the people they arrested off even though they are 100% guilty by exploiting some arcane legal president or by confusing the jury with so much nonsense they are unable to even follow the trial and just want to get it over with and go home (think the OJ trial).

When I got the name of a good evil criminal defense lawyer I set up an appointment to do a “meet and greet” with him, a 30 minute appointment cost like 150 bucks. After then (to this day) I send him a card on every holiday just so he remembers my name and do a yearly phone call (that bastard charges me – lol).

Now if I ever have to call him at 3:30 AM after I smoked some fool he will remember my name. Are you scoffing at spending 150 bucks? If you are not willing to make sure that your family and your virgin ass-hole will be ok for the equivalent of ½ day at the range then you deserve to spend the next 6 years holding someone’s pocket (*1).

speak-no-evil
speak-no-evil

Don’t Say SHIT!

I have worked with ex-cops in Iraq, the US and a few other countries and I think they are good guys who had a thankless job. But if you kill someone in self-defense in your home they are not on your side – now don’t get me wrong… They are also NOT against you ether by any means.

They have a job to do – they have to document, report everything they saw or heard and investigated. That may not always be in your… how I should say… “Best interest”.

If I was forced to defend myself with deadly force in my home I would call 911 and say: “hello, I am at 123 Acme Street, my name is James G and I have been involved in a shooting involving armed intruders in my home, please send the police and an ambulance”

The next person I would call is my Lawyer and let him know what happened

Then I would place all of my weapons and kit in a pile indoors – I don’t want the police accidentally shooting me, nor do I want to be photographed by the media looking like a SWAT team member. I would also put on a suit blazer.

When the police showed up I would say: “I was forced to defend myself, that is the only statement I would like to make at this time until I speak to my lawyer” and generally be polite to the cops who showed up.

Just to make thing clear: I am not saying that the cops will fuck you or anything; in fact… all of my cop buddies have no problem with a homeowner defending their families and themselves in their home.

But if I came out of my house saying “Hell yes son, I smoked those fools like Emeril Lagasse smokes ribs – BOOYAKA!!!!” and they were later asked what I said after the shooting wile under oath in court they would have no choice but to tell the truth.

And that probably would not be good for me

cry_like_this baby
cry_like_this baby

"This was the most horrible thing I have ever done, I will never forgive myself for shooting an armed meth head that broke into my home at 3:30 AM"

You know what my scumbag lawyer told me to do if I was ever forced to shoot someone in my home?

IMMEDIATELY piss my pants

Apparently when the police show up after I used justified lethal force in self defense I don’t want to be high fiving my neighbors or doing back-flips, or even be calm and composed I should be bawling my eyes out with pee filled pants because I am so terrified by the intrusion and devastated that I was forced to take a human life – “It was the most horrible thing man, ohhh god please forgive me!, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” (repeat X100 in the fetal position) until the medics take me away.

judge-judy
judge-judy

Conclusion…

That is just what I have/would do to prepare myself if I ever had to use justifiable lethal force. The above is just opinion and rambling; get a lawyer for proper legal advice.

(*1) When in prison a “bitch” (a man who is owned by another man for sexual purposes) will be forced to hold the guys pocket as a sign they are “property = man Raped every night.

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~James G Founder - Editor in Chief

James G is a Veteran Civilian Contractor who has worked in the Middle East and Southeast Asia for way too long; he has traveled to over 50 countries chasing fortune and glory. He spends his off time in Indonesia and Virginia getting drunk, shooting guns and writing poorly written articles.