TACTICAL GEAR: Gear Company Add Silliness

GET-SOME-GEAR
GET-SOME-GEAR

The typical tactical gear add

If you think I am exaggerating with the above add I made then pick up a copy of your favorite tactical oriented or gun magazine and scan the Tactical Gear ads. Seriously, they look like they are selling G.I. Joe toys to children and not Tactical Gear to professional operators.

All of these gear companies seem to follow the exact same add format:

- Rename things that already exist with “cool” sounding made up names Sure, I am so stupid that I didn’t realize you renamed ‘PALS’ S.T.R.I.K.E.K.E.R.S

- Use capital letters on everything ATTENTION GEAR COMPANIES, IT IS EXTREMELY ANNOYING TO READ EVERYTHING ON YOUR ADD IN CAPITAL LETTERS

- Use exclamation points Your product is not that exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Always list out a bunch of “high-speed” people that supposedly use your gear Sorry, I don’t believe the CIA, NSA and Delta Force use your Tactical pen holder, and even if they do I don’t care.

- Use flames or some other “combat” looking background Wow, if I didn’t see a burned out building and a fireball in the background of your add I wouldn’t have bought your mag pouch at the PX.

- Have ridiculous pictures of models wearing your gear Yep, that guy holding an M-4 with Iraq Photoshopped in the background is the only reason why I buy your brand of gear.

gay 1
gay 1

GET SOME!!! (cock)

Apparently UnderArmorthinks people who go on raids:

- Wear extremely gay skin-tight shirts with no body armor on. - Carry a pistol cross-draw - Wear drooping duty belts like some 1980’s Sheriff's deputy - Don't need any extra magazines for their M-4’s - Don’t use slings - Are gay

If I saw the above guys bust through my front door I would be more afraid of being man-raped than getting shot. And (Referring to the guy on the far left) when did Jim Belushi start modeling for tactical clothing ads?

gay 2
gay 2

Face paint? Are you fucking serious?

This “operator” is an idiot because (poll below):

A. He paints his face Nam’ style to conceal himself at night and then wears a jacket with a big-ass white logo on the front

B. He paints his face Nam’ style

C. He has his hood pulled down because he thinks it may rain inside the truck

D. All of the above

[poll id="3"]

I could go on forever about UnderArmor and their arrogant salesmen, overpriced & flammable clothing and silly ass ads. But my favorite thing they did was taking shirts from their Fly Fishing line and rename them as “Tactical”.

Seriously, they sell “tactical shirts” that were Fly Fishing shirts a year ago – hell, they didn’t even bother to modify them.

Rant Fin...

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~James G Founder - Editor in Chief

James G is a Veteran Civilian Contractor who has worked in the Middle East and Southeast Asia for way too long. He spends his off time in Indonesia and Virginia getting drunk, shooting guns, writing poorly written articles and wearing face paint on urban ops.